So You Do Want Porn?

This screenshot from a Channel 5 newscast tonight about protesters of a proposed adult video store in Oak Cliff.

I Love The "Jeers and Cheers" . . .

. . . in the Star Telegram every Saturday - although the Jeers are more entertaining than the Cheers.

I Could Only Think Of The Reaction Of My Faithful Readers

From a story from the Star Telegram about an Intoxication Assault case which caused the amputation of the victim's legs: [Judge] Gallagher sentenced Jose Felix Herrera, 27, to the maximum 10 years in prison for intoxication assault. Herrera must serve at least five years before he is eligible for parole and will be deported to Mexico afterward.

2.02.2007

An Alternative to Prince's Performance . . .

. . . at halftime during the Super Bowl, you can flip over to the Fuse Network and catch a special episode of "Pants Off, Dance Off" - the most unstable show on television.

I Stared At This Decal . . .

. . . because I didn't understand it or recognize it. Somebody tell me. (Click to enlarge.)

Possible News

A faithful reader just sent me this pic of unstableness. If this is legit, that's a pic this morning of a guy who decided to ride his four wheeler out onto a shallow but not-so-frozen Eagle Mountain lake in the Newark area. A "rescue" effort involving the Newark Fire Department is ongoing.

Tyra Banks Takes Up For Fat Big Women

Orders for cheeseburgers soar. (A-Bomb warning.)

The More Things Change . . .

Old timers will appreciate this youtube clip of Channel 8 news for 1992. For some reason, the station sends Valari Williams up to Hedley, TX to talk about the weather. Her lips begin to freeze and you can hardly understand her at the end of the 3 1/2 minute clip. Then Chip Moody begins laughing followed by a couple of seconds of Tracy Rowlett giggling at the silliness. My mom still talks about this clip.

I Say . . .

. . . we kill that groundhog and stop this silliness.

The Great Blizzard of 2007

Conditions not this bad in Wise County since December, 2o06. Wise County Government Offices open two hours late. Decatur ISD opens on time - Declares county government "letting terrorists win." Developing . . . Edit: In other breaking news, The Today Show just did a segment on not allowing you kids to drink hand sanitizers since they contain over 60% alcohol. (I'm slipping one in my briefcase for a little "pick me up" later.)

2.01.2007

OK, That's Not A Young Bob Saget

But the rest is interesting.

Allegedly The Same Girl

Supposed to be some English singer named Amy Winehouse. I'm too lazy to verify if its an After & Before pic so let's assume it's true.

Oh, No, They Didn't

Fox4News' helicopter just flew over some empty sand trucks in an empty parking lot while an intrepid reporter announced, "I can tell you they are ready to go!"

Denise Richards and Richie Sambora Went To The Beach In Hawaii Yesterday

And my big ol' belly would be as red as his big ol' belly if I were to get out in the sun right now. Or my blood pressure would make it look that way if I got to frolic with Denise Richards.

NBC Thought We Should Be Protected

At least on TV (in connection with the Boston bomb scare. You can see the hippies behind the "plot" here.) Thanks to tip. Edit: You couldn't buy one of those little guys on EBay, could you? Edit: Someone made a funny. Edit: The guys' press conference after their release from jail was bizarre.

I Want A Pair Of Scissors. Badly.

On an unrelated note, the youtube.com video going around of the girl, in a rage, cutting her hair off on her wedding day is sooooo fake. I did a better job of acting when I told my fourth wife I wouldn't mind if she super-sized that meal.

Tara Conner

. . . was on the Today Show this morning. This thing has turned into the theater of the bizarre with Matt Lauer asking "Did you use cocaine?" "When did you start?" "Were you out drinking late at night?" "Do you have a sexual addiction?" "Were you abused?" "Was it physical or sexual?"

1.31.2007

Oh, Baby. There Ya Go

As I Sit Here . . . wondering how to make money with this stupid site (whether it be The Blog or WiseCounty.com), I thought about Mark Cuban and how he became rich at the time of the inception of the Internet. First, I looked up how Cuban made his fortune when, his company, audionet.com/broadcast.com was purchased by Yahoo in the late 1990s. The figure astounded me. Out of curiosity, I looked up what Google payed for YouTube.com a couple of months ago. Here it is: Google paid $1.65 billion in stock for YouTube.com Yahoo paid Cuban and his partners $5.04 billion in stock for Broadcast.com

I'm Going With This Look Tomorrow

Did (the very hot) Sienna Miller forget her pants this weekend? Or is this a fashion statement? More pics here for you to decide.

Screenshot . . .

. . . from the always funny "Crank Yankers." But I was offended on behalf of Bridgeport High School female athletics due to a certain banner.

I Can't Tell You How Good This Is

The NFL Network is counting down the 20 greatest Super Bowl winners with one hour specials. This stuff is gold because of the behind the scenes stuff - always offered by three of the team's players. Tonight is #5 which is the 1993 Dallas Cowboys. Troy Aikman sang on a country album (awful), Michael Irvin was one minute late for the plane and Jimmy Johnson said "shut the door, we're leaving" (and they did), and Michael tells of girls being in his home after a game which caused him to ask them, "Where are your clothes?" Throw in vintage film footage (Jerry Jones' first press conference saying, "Winning is the name of the game") and this stuff is fascinating.

A Texas Liberal Death

I think that leaves 12, nope, 11 of us left.

Oh, My

Note to the Chambers of Commerce of Wise County: This screen shot from the official web site of the South Padre Island Convention and Visitors Bureau might give you some promotional ideas.

I Never Watch The Show . . .

. . . but for some reason, on "Deal or No Deal", I just saw a guy from UT-Tyler hand Howie Mandel a comatose catfish who then, in turn, handed it to one of the hot chicks. (I know it was comatose otherwise it would have finned the crap out of them.) Edit: About 30 minutes later I blew by the show and they had a female midget little person as the contestant. My TV is dishin' out some crazy tonight.

High School Proms

Not that I have an interest in high school proms (insert joke here), but I heard that Bridgeport's prom will be in some Fort Worth hotel this year. Since I really haven't kept up with it, has this been going on for a while? Do other Wise County schools venture off into the Big City as well? I remember Decatur having a prom in north Fort Worth in the early 1990s and I vaguely remember a news story about them trashing the hotel. But I could be wrong. Enlighten me.

Texas A&M's 2007 Football Schedule

Miami might get lucky since the Aggies will be worried about the next game.

Ms. USA Tara Conner . . .

. . . was seen in a Dateline excerpt on The Today Show this morning where she was admitting to Matt Lauer that she had used cocaine. Darlin', just shut up. (That's her with Axl Rose - who has never done cocaine.)

Blizzard Report

As I walked up to the courthouse in the peacefulness of the falling slow snow, I was interrupted by a banging noise coming from a window above. As I looked up, I was shocked to see a distinguished member of the Wise County Bar Association making an obscene gesture in my direction. As he smiled. Moment ruined.

Snow

It's snowing in Decatur at the moment. It makes me feel like a kid when this happens.

"Don't Panic Yet!"

Fox 4's Evan Andrews just said that.

1.30.2007

Hey, Now

This is Tory Burch (ignore the guy in the picture.) Ms. Burch is rich. She apparently has a clothing line. And I just read that she is dating Lance Armstrong. More importantly, she has six kids. Six! Lance, she better have billions. (Source).

Billboard Coming Into Wise County From Fort Worth

It's by the old "Jeterville" liquor store. When I read the words on the left real quickly, a Missy Elliott song pops in my head.

Not Above 42 For The Next Five Days?

Can I run a pipe directly from the Barnett Shale into my heater?

"God Hates A Fag"

Ok, that's a shocking headline. But it is also the title to a music video that has been sweeping all over the Internet for the last few weeks.(Well, it's not the title but it's the chorus.) It's slick. It's well produced. The guy can sing. And it's promoted as being sung by "an ex-homosexual pastor." But the real debate is: Is it for real? And the bigger debate is: How shocking is it that we have to debate whether it is real. (The answer to the first question is here. But I suggest you watch it and judge for yourself before clicking on the answer.)

YouTube Says It Limits . . .

. . . this size of its uploads to 10 minutes. So how is the two hour 40 Year Old Virgin on there?

Random Microsoft Vista Thought

I never see this any more.

MLK Party

First it was Tarleton, and now Clemson joins the crowd.

Miss USA Tara Conner . . .

. . . is out of rehab. Baby, if you ever feel weak, caaawwwl me.

I'm Working On A Law Firm Commercial

And this will be my template.

Do They Not Write Warnings?

I saw a Fort Worth Police car at the hearing office today that had the words "No Tolerance" painted on the door. (I tried to take a picture but I didn't get close enough - I really didn't want them to go Rodney King on me. ) But I think I'd want a cop to have a little bit of tolerance.

Thriller Dance

Wedding party breaks out into the "Thriller" dance. I'm not sure what I think about this. (But it's right out of "13 Going on 30" movie.) I'm off to Fort Worth.

For Some Reason . . .

. . . the kid from Harry Potter is in a play where he is neekid with a horse. (Source) Come to think about it, I did that in One Act Play in Bridgeport.

My Big Sports Brain

A couple of weeks ago I suggested on this blog that Jerry Jones name himself coach. Today, the lead sport's columnist for the Dallas Morning News writes the same thing. Coincidence?

This Means Something . . .

. . . I just don't know what.